a love tragedy
by zarianechii
Summary: childgood friends, close friends, best friends, boyfriends, girlfriends .. :
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten…. That I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad late night show…

Sakura was my best friend and I have known her since we were just little kids. She knew all about my secrets like a was an heir for a really rich clan and my mom Yelan secretly hide me so that the elders of the clan won't force me to train and torture me but there's one deepest darkest secret I kept from her … I did not reveal my true feelings. I love her. I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs and make me smile. She has a different perspective in life than I am. She's a happy go lucky person and sees everything at a positive light. I could still remember the first time we met…..

I was five years old then. It was a sunny morning. I think it was the saddest yet the happiest day of my life. Eriol, my neighbor, playmate, best friend and was like a brother to me move out to a neighboring state because his father got promoted and they need to transfer near his job. I still remember how I refuse to cry in front of Eriol, but started crying after he left.

The next day as I climbed up our tree house where Eriol and I used to play together, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched as it approaches the house next to us and there was a family wagon following it. When it already stopped the family came out. I was about to look away when came out the loveliest girl I've ever seen. It was like a childhood crush.

She was also five years old at that time but an early age it shows beauty. She had long straight hair that reach almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which has the color of emeralds. I was really mesmerized by those eyes since my favorite color was green. Staring to her eyes would make a man lose his heart, its like a galaxy and once you stepped in you can never escape. It was never ending.

In my mind I was thinking not to be friends with her since I would became like a traitor to Eriol. That's how I feel at the moment since he just left and now I am hunting for his replacement. But then I still continued to watch her and suddenly she looked up and saw me. I want to duck and hide from embarrassment but it was too late. I'm just glad that she smiled and waved her hand. I think I lose my mind because I waved back and then in amazement I saw her running towards the tree house. So went to the edge of the ladder.

"Would you like to come up?" I asked her.

"May I?" she answered.

So I helped her climbed up and reached the top she then turned to me..

"By the way my name is Sakura Kinomoto. What's yours?" she asked.

"Cherry Blossoms? I, Uh, My name is Li Syaoran but then you can call me Syaoran." I answered.

"Gotcha. Well, I like your name." She looked around the tree house and said "Hey! Your tree house is neat!" she smiled.

"T-Thanks! Eriol and I made this. This is our secret hideout so don't tell everybody. Okay?" I tell her.

" Sure. I promise. By the way. Who is Eriol? Can I also meet him?" She asked me again.

"He is my buddy, my best friend and he was like a brother to me. We used to goof around a lot, play ball and go biking together. He just left yesterday and that house you were staying now was their old house. I kind of miss him. You know?" I stated.

"That's so sad.." I could see tears forming from the side of her eyes..

"Hey, it's okay. Don't worry now. We still keep in touch." I tried to calm her down.

I think it enlighten her mood because she smiled again and was sort of excited.

"Well, I'm here now we could do things you do with Eriol and I can be your new bestfriend too. I could learn how to play ball and and I have my bicycle so we can go biking together. I never had a boy best friend before so it could be exciting to finally have one. Now how does that sound to you?" she smiled her eyes glowing.

I could not reject her now? Can I? So then I eat me words and became friends with her.

"Well that sounds good enough" was my reply.

She then held her hand and said "it's a deal then."

"Yeah,it's a deal."

And that's how it started…

At first I was thinking that this story would only have one chappy. But now that I started writing it, somehow, I think it was lengthy and I don't want to bore the readers with so many words. So please review my work guys. Ill be updating very soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

So as the days have past so quickly, we became closer and really end up being best of friends. It was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was a little bit hesitant to indulge her like catching frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she never held back. She tried everything that I do, and did everything to please me. We ended up in the same elementary school and we have all classes together. I was pretty happy because I'll be with her all day. Even if there was other girls and boys at school it never created a gap between us and our bond was stronger now.

It was Saturday morning and there was no class so I went to their house to ask her if she wants to play with me and bring her bike. When I knocked at the door a guy stood in front of me and had the face of disgust. I think he was the brother that Sakura was telling me about. If I remembered right, his name was Kinomoto Touya. I stood right there and was a little afraid of him. He was taller than me but Li Syaoran never fears someone. I am training martial arts so there is no way he can hurt me. HaHaHa! At my point of view I think he was really protective of her sister and he didn't want anyone to hurt her. But since Sakura and his father trust me he also learn from them and trust me a LITTLE.

"Uh, is Sakura there?" I asked him.

He just stare for a while and then shouted "Kaiju, there's this kid SYAORAN looking for you AGAIN."

I was somewhat pissed of what he said but I let it past because I need to have a good mood when meeting Sakura.

"Coming" I heard her. After running down the stairs he punches Touya lightly and said "oniiii-chan I am not a monster. Oh right im going with Syaoran, we will go biking. I already ask for father's permission so you cant trapped me."

"ya,ya, alright. What can I do now? Be careful kaiju" Touya said to Sakura and he then looked at me and said "Hey kid! Better take care of my little sister her or else you cant stepped in our house again." I just nodded and grab Sakura's hand so we can go.

When we were biking I ask Sakura if we can have a race and she easily agreed. I try to run the bike as fast as I could and Sakura was left behind. Then suddenly I heard a crash,she fell of the bike trying to catch up with me in the race. I run through her direction. I fell like crying but she just smiled and say "Don't worry, it does not hurt". I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee because I feel gulty of what happened for her. If it wasn't for that stupid race I plot she would not end up like this. I also feel shivers through my spine as I remembered Touya telling me to take care of her sister and now she'll go home with a bruise. I will really be a dead meat.

Luckily as I sent her home her dad was the one who opened the door and was not really angry about what happened to Sakura earlier. Sakura even make sure that she was okay and that they shouldn't worry about her condition. I was relieved that they kept it secret to Touya and he never found out. That guy was really stupid sometimes. Is he not?

There are so many things we did together that did not end well like the biking part. I could still remember the time she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and I was the one to talk to Mr. Sasagawa and promised we will not do It again and will pay for the damaged property, which meant having to lose a week's allowance plus scolding from mother. I remembered the time when I fell of the tree when I tried to rescue a kitten because Sakura was near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I remember Sakura crying as she placed the ice bag over the damaged cheek and later gave it a get well kiss. From that day, I did everything to please her and gave everything I can to fulfill her little heart's desires.

When we became older the lake also becomes our favorite hang-out together. We had our Saturday swimming routine. We would pack food and drinks and later eat them under a big oak tree. It was like a picnic and I enjoyed it a lot. There was a special branch in that tree which the two of us could sit together and tell each other's dream. She dreams of becoming a ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming the head of our company someday. She never laughs at my dreams though some of them were quite impossible. It made me like her even more.

A/N: So Syaoran likes her already huh? The next chappy will be when they grow up to be very handsome and beautiful teenagers. See how it goes from there. Till then. Ja! Is this chapter short? YES OR YES? Im sorry!


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards Sakura are slowly changing. We were now in the last years of our high school days. Sakura, as well as I am became pretty popular in our campus since she was the cheerleader and I am the captain of the Soccer's club. I thought my feelings for her then was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of not wanting of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange. But then it was an exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive.

Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge, I had a feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend.

At school we were often thought as a couple since were always together and hardly apart. We never deny it, neither confirmed. As I saw her coming I waved at her while she smiled and said "Hey Syao". I laughed and shook my head "Hey Sakky". After a while the bell rang and the group of students separated going to their class. Sakura groaned "Why does Math have to be the first thing in the morning?".

Sakura and I walked alone towards the Mathematics building. I paused before she sat down and I smiled at her and said "That's why I don' have a girlfriend. I'm too busy trying to keep you from failing." Sakura shoved me and managed to hit me oh so lightly before class started.

If she just realized what I said that day and if she did not consider it as a joke the she would feel my true emotions towards her. But since we are best friends "What can I do?". I just let my chances pass as I think it was the best way to keep her near me. Everyday pass and I noticed that Sakura grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches whenever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch their faces as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers, chocolates, stuffed toys and all those sorts of gift a man would give to a lady. There were times when I watch her at the distance with mixed emotions of anger and hurt. Because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so.

Then one day there's this guy named Usui. (A/N: I got the name from made sama. hehe) he was so popular, might consider as a heartthrob of the campus. She, being a cheerleader was also closed to the basketball team to which Usui was the captain. There were rumors of Sakura being in a romantic relationship with this guy but I just shook it off and think that it was just a rumor. But when I saw her one afternoon walking together at a parking lot I reconsider my thought as I guess the rumors was actually true. That day I feel like my heart was being ripped and tore into very small pieces. I actually glared at Usui, of course without Sakura noticing it. Normally I wasn't hateful but it wasn't Usui that made me mad. It as the effect he had on Sakura. Then I saw her waved at me and walked towards my direction.

"Sorry Syao, I didn't introduce you." she said.

I just smiled. _Of course you didn't._

"This is Usui, Usui this is Syaoran. My best buddy" she added

I resisted the urge to cringe at the name but extended my hand. "Syaoran Li. Nice to meet you."

Usui returned the gesture, "Usui Takumi. Nice to meet you too."

She said she would never leave me. But how long was it going to last? Those days that followed were the saddest day of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walked by me with hum at her side. Everytime we meet on the hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess be owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him. As she passes by me she didn't know that I whisper the words "God how I love her".

* * *

><p>AN: I actually thought this story was long enough, but now I realized it wasn't enough I promise the next chapter will be more on Syaoran and Sakura, Please review


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Then I think the luckiest day of my life came. They broke up. I know I shouldn't be happy, but I can't help it. I'm actually overjoyed, I want to jump and yell. At the same time I felt bead for Sakura. She even came to me that evening crying her heart out. I offered her my shoulder.

She said that they had a big fight and it ended up with their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was so damned happy because she was free and I would have the chance of telling her my true feelings. At that time I was not sure of what I wanted to do.

So we found ourselves doing what we did on old days with our Saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. We still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we are both still young at heart. So many chances I had for me to confess my feeling to her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her so now I couldn't bear of losing her again by telling her "I love you''. So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.

It was a week from our JS Prom, we seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim.

She said "I was wondering Syao, if you can be my partner?"

It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me forever before I could answer. I think my face was flushed so turned my back to her so she couldn't notice me blushing.

"No way. You know, there are so many girls out there who would catfight to be my partner." I laughed.

She bowed her head. I think she was hurt by what I said. But after a while she then smile at me and said "yeah, you're right."

I felt guilty by what I said so again I told her "hey, I was just kidding there. Ohh Sakyy I didn't thought you will be hurt that bad. I didn't think I was that irresistible. Besides, there are so many boys who would die just to be with you. So why choose me?".

She turned away quietly and said "I… Uhhh.. Well.. I just thought I would like to spend the night with my bestfriend. Don't you think it's sweet?" she laughed. Then she continued "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Syaoran?"

I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt me feeling for her. We were silent at the moment until finally I had my composure back and said "I know your pretty Sak but Im Gorgeous." We laughed at what I said until I whispered "I would love to be your partner Sakura".

She smiled so sweetly that I think I would faint because of her cuteness. I want to hug her so tight. But then she was the one who initiated it and kiss my cheek. I was so shock but then returned the gesture. I lift her up and toss her around and then turn and turn and turn. I feel dizzy after so as she. I could hardly contain my joy that time. I even saw her blushed and bowed her head when I put her down.

Suddenly she stood up and ran towards the water saying, "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!"

I ran slowed up so that I would lose which meant having to have her with me for another two hours or more. We part ways after that so we can change into dry clothes and fixed ourselves before I can treat her and discussed our plans about the upcoming Prom.

We met up again and went to the McDonalds for our sundae. I put my arms in her shoulder. Sakura was quite tall but then I was taller than her. She was telling me about a girl Tomoyo. I'm guessing that it was like a girl best friend since she always talks about her with me. She said Tomoyo was really interested in designing and wants to design her clothes at the upcoming prom as well as me because I will be her partner and partners should have a matching colour outfit.

I easily agreed at what she said because you know girls and their needs. But I told that no matter what she wear she will look stunning in my eyes. She laughed as she felt that I was only joking but hey, IT WAS THE TRUTH! I don't know why Sakura is so dense?

After eating we went to the mall and I join her in her shopping spree. I am telling you best friends should not be a carrier of bags and shoe boxes. Before entering the mall we talked about just buying an accessory to compliment the outfit we will be wearing on prom night. But I couldn't stop her. She just said it was so KAWAII and she should buy it because maybe next time it won't be available and yada yada yada.

The hours went wild and we just realized it was actually dark. We headed on Sakura's home first so that I, I mean we can explain why we were late. I knocked at the door just to see an angry Touya waiting at the other side.

"Hey kid do you know what time it is? Where did you bring my sister huh? I thought you would just have a sundae? A freaking sundae can be eaten for just 10minutes and you're gone for about five hours? Do you want me to kill you?". He yelled at me.

He really scared the crap outta me. I feel like im going to stutter if I speak up. Thank God Sakura helped me. She speak up in behalf of me and said "ni-chan could you just chill there? I swear I thought I see a monster just now. We just go shopping. So now can you help Syaoran get the bags and boxes at his car or you will just stand on our way?

"HELL no! He should be the one carrying your stuff not me. And besides it was his fault you came late. Im upstairs if you need me" touya said while walking up the stairs.

"Ok" Sakura cheered happily as Touya was not angry anymore and help Syaoran unpacked the things on his car and carry them inside.

"Thanks Syao for coming with me. I really had fun" she said.

"No worries. I'm your best friend, remember?" I answered.

"Right. So I guess ummm.. Goodnight?" Sakura said.

"uhh goodnight.. Sweetdreams."I just had my confidence as I move closer and hug her tightly. I think she was shocked at first cause I usually don't do this everytime but she hug me back and whispered "Sweetdreams". I loosen my grip and then I walked back to my car and waved goodbye. She then waved back and closed the door.

A/N: is this ok now? I know it's longer than the usual. I will try to right the next chapters with this length. Watch out, next chapter will be the prom

I hope you like this chapter. Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Our prom night came. I was wearing a tuxedo which was designed especially for me by Tomoyo. I wore a green long sleeve with a pleated necktie. I looked at the mirror to check my reflection and then after I'm satisfied with my appearance I almost poured the entire bottle of perfume. Hey, I need to be perfect for Sakura. As soon as I think I am ready I went my car start the engine and went to fetch my beloved cherry blossoms.

Once I am at my stop, Sakura's father opened the door, greeted me and invited me in. I was practically thanking Kami-sama cause his devil of a brother Touya wasn't there which means no prying, no lectures, no threats, no Chinese gaki and whatsoever he may tell.

I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say " Hi Syaoran, did you wait long?". I was stunned for a moment. I haven't seen Sakura so beautiful. Sure she was always pretty but today, she was like an angel, no I think a goddess. Damn, she's so gorgeous. After the civil war at my mind thinking how to describe her perfectly she said, "like what you see?". I decided to change the topic and answered "nah, just got by. You were so fast actually. I was feeling that you would take what? 2 hours or 3? I know you were trying to look good for me.. You've done a good job.. ". I patted her head.

"Oh what the hell! Dream on Syaoran. You were even stunned when I went down. You only snapped out of your thoughts a moment ago. What were you thinking any way?" she teased.

"Nothing" I responded too fast that even I, will know that my statement wasn't believable anymore.

"Ohohoho. Whatever you say Syaoran." Yeah, she copied the infamous laughed I heard from Tomoyo.

"I think Syaoran is in love with me. I bet your thinking on how beautiful I am." She laughed.

I laughed with her. I know she was just kidding but still I decided to continue our little joke. " Is there a pole here? I want to hold on to it because suddenly the wind was so strong it might blow me away."

She pouted. "I never thought you would go that far. I'm hurt you know."

"Now, now Sakura. I know your bad at acting so don't rub it in. okay?" I smiled at her.

"Seriously? How dare you! I though we were best friends. Well enough of that I don't want you telling me how I am bad with acting and you are so good at everything."

"I know life is unfair. Aren't we running a little late now?" I looked at my watch then looked at her. She just stuck her tongue out at me.

"it's your ! Before we go I just want to make sure. How do I look?" she beamed with the most beautiful smile I have ever laid my eyes on.

Now I should describe her right? Green was definitely Sakura's color. Two thumbs up for Tomoyo for picking that color. It really matches her emerald orbs. She stood there in a full length strapless satin dress. It had a sweetheart neckline with asymmetrical pleating that perfectly hugged the curve of her waist to her hips. The cluster of rhinestones glittered under the lights. Her hair was flowing around her face which curls at the end.

I was taken aback by her impulsive question so I just move to where she stands and open my mouth but found out that I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand, shakily fastened the corsage and whispered, " To the loveliest girl in the world".

"Is that true?" she asked.

I nodded. I feel her arms wrapped around my neck and she once again kissed me on the cheek. She should not do that so often because I'm getting used to it and it's not so good. "awww. I never knew my best friend is so sweet."

I hugged her back and realized hat she smelled so nice. "anything for you" I answered lamely. Is that it? I still can't confess to her. I wanted so smack my head on the wall repeatedly.

So we both move ahead. I opened the door for her and together we head to the gymnasium. We saw Tomoyo waved cheekily outside the gym. We both walked to her direction. "well, well, well, I think I made a good job ne? what do you think Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo chirped.

" Indeed Tomoyo-chan. Thank you so much for this beautiful dress and for Syaoran's outfit for tonight."sakura uttered. That's when Tomoyo noticed me and she started jumping excitedly. "Kyaaaaaa! You so looked glowing together! Sakura-chan, would you mind if I stare at Syaoran?" she keeps on staring at me when Sakura started dragging her inside. "Tomoyo-chan, Syaoran is mine for the night so don't do that. Okay?" Sakura stated so sweetly that it sounds scary.

I wonder what she means by that statement but I shrugged it off at least I am happy with what she says. A smile was plastered at my face because of the excitement and happiness. There are also many people who look at us with admiring glances. I hold Sakura's hand so boys would back off. Hah! She's mine. :P

When we are inside the hall, we can hardly recognize our classmates. Gone were the jeans and t-shirt. They were replaced by tuxedos, gowns and dresses. I held out my hand bowed and said, "Would you give me the honor of being your first dance?" she laughed and curtseyed. "Oh no way". I was heartbroken. "Not before we took a picture of us."she continued. I was relieved. Whew! So we took the picture. We really look good together as Tomoyo said. You can even consider us a perfect match? Or a match made in heaven. You choose. But then Tomoyo busied herself by filming us. Sakura tried to stop her but she was so hardheaded and so we just let her do what she want.

After which, I led her to the dance floor. It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I loved. She was smiling up to me as we were moving in smooth gliding motion. I forward myself lost when I stared at her emerald sparkling eyes. She move closer to me and leaned on my shoulder.

There were so many things I wanted her that moment. I wanted to repeat that she was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. . I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of my light in the darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper in her ear but suddenly the music stopped. The magic was gone. I came close to telling her, but still haven't done it.

We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. "Would you like something to drink?" I asked her. "Yeah. Should I come with you?" she answered. I talked back "oh no, just stay here I will get it for you." I winked at her and went to get our drinks.

It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table, she was gone. I asked Tomoyo "Did you see Sakura?". She looked from left to right and told me "she's just here a minute ago. Now where is that girl?". "Don't worry. I will look for her." So I went to look for her.

As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhouette figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so closed at each other that I could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the green dress that Sakura was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium.

A/N: THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE END. SO BYE-BYE! Thank you for the reviews.

I hope there would be more..


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talked to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid of hearing her say that she loves Usui and not me. I would rather left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break.

I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. In the hallways, as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.

Then one day I came into a decision. I went to my mom to tell her my plans "Mom, I would like to go to Hong Kong." She was shocked. "What? Are out of your mind son? They will torture you."

"I don't care" I said emotionless. "Do you have a problem Syaoran?" my mother was worried. "Don't worry I'm alright. I'll go ahead mom. Goodnight!". I kissed her on the cheek. "Night son."

The day of the graduation came. I was planning to go to hong kong and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. She hugged me, TIGHT! " I missed you!" she whispered. I was about to hug her back when she move away and as she stared at me, there was something in her eyes I could not describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had before. I wanted to tell her that I love her and I'm sorry for the things I have done but then she turned and walked away from me.

So when the day came and I was about to move out, my mother talked to me "are you sure about this son? It's not too late to back down.". "My decision is final. Please, don't worry about me. I can take care of myself."

"What about Sakura? Won't you bid your goodbye at her?" mom asked me. "No need mom. Please tell her that I will miss her" I hug my mom.

At the airport my mom was crying. "Hey don't be a crybaby mom, ill be back soon!" I joked. "It's not that, you know I will be alone in our house." She sniffed. "I will visit you once a year, ne? I'm sure you will also be busy with work." I stated.

Then I saw Sakura running to my direction. At that time I still don't think that I'm ready to face her. But I'll just have to bid my farewell right? I see tears ready to spill on her eyes. So I was the one to move closer and hug her. "Don't cry. You will look ugly" I try to lighten up the mood but failed miserably. She cried harder. " I will really miss you Syaoran. I will try my best to wait for you." I don't know what she mean by her statement but then some announcing where done and passengers should go in. I kissed her goodbye and uttered "I will miss you too." I fight back my tears for I wasn't prepared to see Sakura so sad and thinking that I was the reason of her agony. I hope Usui will take god care of her while I'm gone or else I will beat him and make him a dry pulp.

The days in Hong Kong was tormenting. Not because of the elders, I can cope up with them, but because of the distance between me and Sakura. We rarely exchange text messages and calls for I don't want to be a hindrance to her and HER LOVELIFE. How I wish that she loved me back then.

It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home to visit my mom and see her again. I concentrated with my training as they say I was ready to take part of our company and become the new heir of our clan.

I thought a year was is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside.

As I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to get to her house, desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have love her for a long time.

This time I am determined to confess and to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her. I reached their house; I saw Touya and I approached him. I was getting ready for the insults but still I smiled at him but he didn't smiled back nor did the insults not assault me. I was confused because he was so full of energy just like my dear Sakura.

I then asked him, "hi Touya! I guess you're surprised why I'm here. Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Sakura. I kind of miss her you know. I have some stuff from Hong Kong. I'm sure you will like it. Mmm… by the way have you seen her?". All I saw was sadness in his eyes as he replied quietly "Come follow me."

I was puzzled with the way he's acting but still I followed him. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge him in a conversation but he just answered my question briefly. Then I realized that he was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree. He then whispered, "There's Sakura.".

I looked at where he was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up.

I stared at Touya in disbelief with his eyes searching for explanations and he slowly started saying, "it has been a week since she died. She died because of heart failure, but even though she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regards this place of LOVE. She said that see this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. By the way she also asked me to give you this." He handed me a parcel and with that she left.

I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading…..

I know… by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I really tried to wait for you as I said before you went to hong kong. But my body won't fight anymore and as each day passed I feel more pain. So I'm sorry for I cannot hold on to my promise anymore and I'm also sorry for not telling you about my condition.

I think that you might fly back here if I told you about it so I kept my mouth shut for you to concentrate. I thank you for still remembering me while you were there. You don't know how happy I am because of your messages and calls even though it was not that often but still it gives me joy. It makes me want to fight my illness. But I am so sorry for my body could not take it anymore. If my will power could heal then you could still me now.

And so I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you.

I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all this years. I love you SYAORAN, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I'm still glad because almost my entire life was spent with you.

I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed as each day passed and that's the happiest day of my life was…. When you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me. When you were away, I can't stop crying because I was afraid to think that you were with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you for myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel.

Each time you held me close to you, was like a dream coming true, for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint.

I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're IN LOVE WITH ME too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you.

Well, you might think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling one lie to the one I love. I know you might be thinking of Usui; but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as a little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too.

When Usui and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know… how you would react and with that I'll know that you will love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. When our prom nigh came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me but you NEVER did.

When Usui came and pleaded me to give him a second chance. I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love.

What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never game me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experience that time. I felt the world was crushing on me.

In our graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you… how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me was just a brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, but still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been with you and yours alone.

PS: think of me sometimes…. And always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life. Please be happy without me, and I will always be with you.

I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "SAKURA, I will see you soon. I LOVE YOU!".


End file.
